So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
