we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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