She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
