Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
