If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize