oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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