was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
