Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
