i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Still dying that you shit outside
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
