remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You dont lie about slip and slides
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
