so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
