I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
