you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
