we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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