3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
