You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
