U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
