You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
