and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
