Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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