idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
