Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
