I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
