Who wears a wallet chain?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She swung at the pinata with crutches
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
