How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
