Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
