I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
