Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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