Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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