i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
