i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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