take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
