So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
