Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
