Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They took my balls.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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