Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
