Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Will you blow on my dice?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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