it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize