we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
