Can i not drive my cunt home
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
