If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
