dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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