On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
