Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
