How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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