My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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