We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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