I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
