So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
