I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
