i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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