I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
