I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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