I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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