i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you had me at cake vodka
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
