i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
how does that bad decision feel?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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