That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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