i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
