Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what day is it and did you see me today?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
