You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there is glitter all over my balls
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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