I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
